“I Tried to Stay Strong, Until That Second” – Prince Harry Finally Reveals the Exact Moment He Allowed Himself to Cry at Princess Diana’s Funeral, and the Hidden Reason Behind His Pain

Prince Harry pinpointed the moment that allowed himself to cry on the day of his mother Princess Diana‘s funeral in his memoir, Spare.

The Duke of Sussex, 40, made the revelation in his groundbreaking memoir, published in 2023, where he reflected with candor on the harrowing day in which his mother was laid to rest. Princess Diana died on Aug. 31, 1997, following a car accident in Paris at age 36, as photographers pursued the vehicle she was traveling in, and her funeral was held a week later on Sept. 6, 1997.

Prince Harry was 12 and his brother, Prince William, was 15 when their mother died, and they famously walked behind her coffin during her funeral procession.

In Spare, the Duke of Sussex wrote that his tears “nearly” began to fall when Elton John performed an emotional rendition of “Candle in the Wind” during Diana’s funeral at Westminster Abbey.

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“I can’t be sure the notes in my head are from that moment or from clips l’ve seen since. Possibly they’re vestiges of recurring nightmares. But I do have one pure, indisputable memory of the song climaxing and my eyes starting to sting and tears nearly falling,” Prince Harry wrote. “Nearly.”

However, he didn’t cry until his mother was buried on the grounds of Althorp House, the Spencer family’s ancestral estate in Northamptonshire.

“When the hearse finally got to Althorp, the coffin was removed again and carried across the pond, over a green iron bridge hastily positioned by military engineers, to a little island, and there it was placed upon a platform. Willy and I walked across the same bridge to the island,” Prince Harry wrote in Spare about Diana’s resting place at Oval Lake Grave.

“It was reported that Mummy’s hands were folded across her chest and between them was placed a photo of me and Willy, possibly the only two men who ever truly loved her. Certainly, the two who loved her most,” he wrote.

“For all eternity we’d be smiling at her in the darkness,” he said, reflecting that envisioning this as the flag on her coffin was removed and her coffin was lowered into the ground was what “finally broke me.”

“My body convulsed and my chin fell, and I began to sob uncontrollably into my hands,” Prince Harry wrote. “I felt ashamed of violating the family ethos, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”

In the decades since her death, Prince Harry has honored his mother’s legacy by supporting some of the same charities that she did, such as The HALO Trust. He and his wife, Meghan Markle, also gave their daughter Princess Lilibet, now 4, the middle name of Diana.

Speaking to PEOPLE in 2022, Prince Harry said that he always hoped to make his mother proud.

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“I certainly hope and believe everything I do makes her proud,” the Duke of Sussex said then. “In the 12 short years I was lucky enough to have with her, I saw and felt the energy and lift she got from helping others, no matter their background, ailment or status. Her life and theirs was better for it, however short theirs or hers was.”

“I honor my mother in everything I do. I am my mother’s son,” he said.