MARY EARPS has bravely opened up about her mental health difficulties after being dropped from the England squad in 2020.
The former Lionesses stopper was left out of then-manager Phil Neville‘s last squad before the entire world shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Being axed from the squad, as well as the pandemic itself, took a psychological toll on Earps.
And she coped with the alien situation by eating nothing but soup and drinking Echo Falls wine for two weeks.
Earps revealed her struggles in her latest book, All In: Football, Life and Learning to be Unapologetically Me.
An excerpt, which was serialised in The Guardian, read: “I was piling on pounds and annihilating my fitness.
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“And that old body-consciousness about being big and bulky was back with an angry vengeance, so I stopped eating as much.
“Not eating was also getting me drunk and therefore numbing my feelings quicker.
“For two weeks straight, I ate nothing but soup, drank Echo Falls at night, and continued trashing my body and my self-confidence.
“For the first time in my life, I wondered if there was any point in me being here any longer.
“I don’t believe I was ever going to end it all but I thought, too many times, about how I could.”
The former Manchester United keeper admits her drinking temporarily numbed the pain she was experiencing.
She continued: “I wasn’t drinking myself into oblivion.
“But for someone who usually didn’t touch it at all, it felt too much and completely out of hand.
“I’d never drunk like that in my life, but for now it was the perfect way of numbing, of not feeling, and that, I decided, was what I needed above all else.”
Since the pandemic, Earps has done her utmost to prioritise her mental health.
And that’s included retiring from international football, which she announced a mere five weeks before Euro 2025.
Upon the announcement of her retirement, Earps said: “I have taken the difficult decision to retire internationally.
“It has been the greatest honour and privilege of my life, to wear this badge, represent my country and play alongside such an incredible group of players.
“I’ve spent a long time making this decision and it’s not one I’ve made lightly.
“For me, ultimately this is the right time for me to step aside and give the younger generation an opportunity to thrive.
“Winning the EUROs in 2022 was the best day of my life, and I’m rooting for the girls to do it again this summer.”
