HIS TRUTH 

‘I’d been living a lie all my life’ – Irish singer Tommy Fleming reveals he’s gay as he breaks silence on marriage split

SINGER Tommy Fleming has revealed he’s gay, declaring: “I’m finally living my truth.”

The Sligo crooner, 55, added: “I’m finally being honest. I’m finally able to live a life that’s true and real and honest.”

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Tommy today confessed he had been “living a lie” just days after it emerged his marriage to his wife of nearly 20 years was over.

Wife Tina Mitchell had confirmed the couple, who share a daughter, separated nearly seven months ago.

And in an emotional interview, the star admitted he wanted “to give my side of it too, to give you my truth”.

He said: “For at least ten to 13 years of marriage, we were very happy — but small cracks started to appear, mainly for me.

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“Small cracks that were never mended and with every crack that appeared there was a new crack, and a new crack, and those cracks became a chasm. I wasn’t happy with my own situation.

“It wasn’t about being happy, it was about being uncomfortable with the situation, if that makes sense.

“I had been living a lie for all my life really. The hardest part of that was the energy and the effort it took for this lie to be constantly covered, and, I suppose, protected. And that lie was that I’m gay.”

Speaking with Ciara Kelly, on Newstalk’s Hard Shoulder, Tommy said he didn’t want to be gay and lived a “straight life”.

He admitted to a “bisexual phase” before meeting Tina, who also has two kids from another relationship.

Tommy said: “Tina knew about that, it was the very first thing I said to her. It was the very first thing I said when we met.

“I had been in a relationship with a man which had broken up six months prior. She had a full ­knowledge of that.”

But the talented songwriter said of being gay: “As the years went on, I just knew. It got harder and it became so difficult in the end.”

He added: “Lying to yourself at 22 is easy to do, but as the years go by you just find it an awful lot harder.

“You lived a straight life and you had girlfriends and all of that, but you told yourself that you weren’t, and you didn’t act on it.

“As a 13-year-old kid, I knew, to be honest with you.”

Tommy said he didn’t stray from his marriage for many years — but admits he did eventually cheat.

He added: “Like many marriages, we just started to drift apart. I was trying to convince myself it was all right because it was anonymous.

“It wasn’t an affair in my head. In your head, you’re going, ‘why did I do that?’ You lie to yourself. You lie, you believe the lie. There was a yearning of the real me. I knew every day I walked in life I was not the real me.

“I was trapped within my own creation, within my own body of lies, within my own bubble I created, and that was a big part of it.

“You try to take the pain away of the guilt by sitting down with a ­bottle of wine, two bottles maybe.

“And you think for those two or three hours of having that wine that pain and guilt is gone. But you woke up the next morning and it was ten times worse.”

Tommy insisted he never put his wife at risk of sexual transmitted diseases while engaging in affairs, declaring: “Absolutely not, I 100 per cent did not put her at risk.”

But he did admit to taking a range of illegal drugs to try and cope, explaining: “Alcohol and ­substances, I medicated with them, they were a painkiller.

“They helped me sleep. It was a broad spectrum of prescription medication and illegal substances and alcohol — all of the above that I dabbled with.”

Tommy, who became a household name after touring with composer Phil Coulter, ended up in St Patrick’s mental hospital in Dublin as the double life became too hard to handle.

Holding back the tears, he said: “I was in St Pat’s getting treatment, and I was admitted there on the 13th of October. On the 21st of September, I attempted suicide. It was an overdose.

“[It came from] an overwhelming sense of absolute sadness and hopelessness. And the fact it would be so much easier if I wasn’t here.

“I was admitted to St Pat’s for treatment for acute depression and anxiety. I initially felt like an ­absolute failure. I felt like I had failed in absolutely everything.”

Tommy’s tell-all chat comes after Gardai said they are probing the unauthorised release of a private audio recording involving the star.

He revealed that he made a call while in hospital and said: “It was recorded without my knowledge and it was leaked without my knowledge and that’s all I can say about it as there is a criminal investigation. I don’t actually remember because I was on medication.”

Tommy admits his family are all upset at the moment.

He added: “They are all hurting at different levels, in different ways, there is anger and I completely understand that anger.

“The only thing I can say is that I am absolutely remorseful and regretful for any of the hurt I have caused to the people I love in ­pursuing my truth. I don’t seek ­forgiveness and I don’t expect it, but I would hope, if there is a god, I would hope and pray that there is acceptance.

“I can’t undo the wrongs I have done and I can’t change the past, I can only look ahead. In order for me to survive and have a life, I had to tell the truth. For the first time in my life, the fear is gone.”

The entertainer had no plans to come out, but said his hand was forced by the leaked recording, admitting: “This is not how I wanted to do this. It took away my privacy in my attempted suicide in September, that was never meant for the public.”

He added: “If the last two weeks were to have happened six or seven months ago, I don’t think I would have survived it.

“I cannot control what people will do, or what they will say, or how they will react or think. I ­cannot and I’m not going to try.

“What’s most important to me now is my mental health, my ­family, my closest friends, that’s what’s important to me now.”

And he declared: “Hopefully, this is the start of the rest of my life.”

• IF you are suffering with your mental health, contact Pieta House at any time on 1800 247 247 or text ‘HELP’ to 51444.

Source: https://www.thesun.ie/tvandshowbiz/16963752/tommy-fleming-breaks-silence-gay-marriage-split/