CHLOE KELLY refuses to listen back to the podcast in which she revealed her struggles with anxiety and alopecia earlier this year.
Kelly is one of six athletes nominated for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year on Thursday night, alongside Lioness teammate Hannah Hampton, F1 world champion Lando Norris and Grand Slam winner Rory McIlroy.
After a frosty exit from Manchester City, Kelly rejoined childhood club Arsenal on loan in January, lifted the Champions League in May and scored the winning penalty in the Womenâs Euros final in July.
But before the glory came the trauma. The 27-year-old forward began the year sick, anxious, and suffering from hair loss, collapsed on her bathroom floor in a âvicious cycleâ.
Kellyâs health problems and alopecia were first made public on Fearne Cottonâs podcast, released on Monday â four days before SPOTY.
Speaking to a small group of reporters on Tuesday, Kelly explained: âI havenât listened to the podcast because it feels like youâre reliving everything again.
âBut my mum and Scott shared a tear because actually, itâs reliving it for them too. Iâm grateful for both of them. They got me through a tough time. I think it was about more than just football.
âMy mum didnât care about football at the time. She just said, âI just want my little girl to be happyâ.
âThere were times when she stayed up in Liverpool for a few more days because she was worried about me. I didnât realise at the time how much strain that puts on other people as well.
âUltimately, Iâm grateful for the people by my side to get me through those dark times. When you see them in the stadiums, when youâre wearing silverware, that means the most to me.â
The stress of her January deadline-day transfer from Manchester City to Arsenal led to her hair falling out.
Kelly forced through a loan move to the north London club after posting a statement on social media in which she said her mental and emotional well-being was suffering because of someoneâs ânegative behaviourâ towards her, though she did not name that person.
She had spent most of her time on the bench, starting only once in the first nine matches of the season, leaving her place in the 2025 Euros in jeopardy.
But City â reluctant to let Kelly join a rival â finally sanctioned the Arsenal loan for the rest of the season, and she joined the Gunners permanently in the summer.
She said: âJanuary was the end of, and breaking a cycle, which I was stuck in. That was what I wanted to do at that moment to make a step in the right direction and itâs one Iâm grateful for.
âJanuary was a difficult time and I actually got a puppy in the midst of it. I said to Scott, âIâm so sad right now, can I get a puppyâ and he said, we can go and see one but I wasnât getting one. And I came away with a puppy, so I got my own way with that.
âIt was trying to find happiness and a few weeks later, moving to London with three dogs, not knowing where Iâm going to live, the fear of the unknown, of how things were going to work out.â
However, Kellyâs physical health deteriorated after her return to the capital.
She said: âI started to notice bald patches on the side of my head. And Iâm thinking, not only have I had the psychological toll on my body, but now Iâm seeing the physical changes on my body thatâs happening.
âAnd I remember the North London derby and I FaceTimed Scott and I said, âI canât cover my ball patchesâ. I had one on either side of my head.
âIt was tough trying to be prepared for a game, but also trying to hide something that now is a part of me.
âSo then I decided I was going to change my hairstyle, you probably noticed I didnât have the pre-wrap (headband) for a while, until I felt confident enough to.â
Kelly spoke to doctors at England and Arsenal and visited a hair specialist with mum Jane to have head injections during one of the international breaks.
She added: âI knew that I needed to do that to feel better and to feel myself not on the pitch but away from the pitch as well.â
Kelly, who married long-term partner Scott Moore in July 2024, also revealed that she bought an anxiety blanket to help.
Months later the girl from Ealing emerged as one of Sarina Wiegmanâs most influential players during the knockout rounds, repeatedly changing games from the bench and saving Englandâs skin.
But she revealed her favourite moment of the year was not scoring the winning penalty against Spain, but her two quickfire assists from the bench to help the Lionesses come from 2-0 down against Sweden in the quarter-final to force extra time.
From then, Chloe âClutchâ Kelly was reborn.
She followed that up securing Englandâs place in the final after scoring a penalty rebound in the 119th minute against Italy in the semis. The super sub then lashed in the winning penalty in a tense shootout against favourites Spain.
Kelly had already etched her name into history by scoring the winner to secure the Lionessesâ first major trophy in 2022 against Germany at Wembley.
She added: âMy aim was to go back to the Euros and to compete with my country. Winning the Champions League was an incredible moment, and one Iâm so grateful for.â
Kelly could become the third Lioness to win the prestigious SPOTY award in the past four years after Beth Mead and Mary Earps claimed it in 2022 and 2023 respectively.
The Lionesses are likely to pick up the team of the year title and Kellyâs bench partner Michelle Agyemang nominated for the Young Sports Personality gong.
Kelly is currently sidelined with a ligament issue, while Agyemang suffered a brutal ACL injury during Englandâs Homecoming Series win over Australia at Pride Park in October.
