The mother of Baby P has told a public parole hearing she let her son die because she was ‘selfish’ and wanted a ‘happy ever after’.
Tracey Connelly was forced to finally give answers this afternoon for the death of 17-month-old Peter – as she made her fresh bid for freedom 18 years after he was tortured to death.
The 44-year-old is facing a two-day trial having been put back behind bars last year for breaking her licence conditions.
She was handed an indefinite sentence with a minimum term of five years in 2009 after covering up horrific injuries inflicted on Peter by her sadistic lover.
Known as Baby P, the toddler was found dead in a blood-splattered cot at his home in Tottenham, north London on August 3, 2007 after sustaining more than 50 injuries, including a snapped spine and eight broken ribs.
Connelly has now claimed it was her unwillingness to ‘admit the truth’ that led to the tragic death of her son.
She described having begun a relationship with Steve Barker in November 2006 before moving in with him around March 2007.
Connelly kept her relationship with Barker a secret adding: ‘The covering up was manipulative.’
She said: ‘I knew deep down what was happening (with Peter), the injuries were not making sense. I was so busy trying to challenge the professionals. I did challenge him (Barker) once and he made me feel so small.’
Connelly said she didn’t want to believe Barker was capable of the violence.
‘I did not want to admit the truth’, she said.
Tracey Connelly (pictured), 44, will face a two day public parole hearing after being put back behind bars for breaking the conditions of her release
The wounds Peter (pictured) suffered included a broken back, broken ribs, mutilated fingertips, and missing fingernails
She admitted: ‘I was selfish. I wanted my happy ever after.
‘I slapped my children. I used it when they misbehaved, I think it was more that I was not coping.
‘It was easier for me to slap them rather than try and explain what a proper mother should have done.’
Connelly’s voice wavered as she claimed she ‘knew deep down’ her son, Peter, was being abused by her former partner Steve Barker.
Speaking for the first time about her role in covering up the abuse, she said: ‘I ignored my gut.’
She went on: ‘I wanted to prove that it couldn’t be possible that I could love a man who was capable of this and that I could allow this to happen rather than admit the truth.’
She agreed she had tried to prevent social services from finding out what was going on.
Connelly told the parole board: ‘I was s**t with my own children. I do not want to put anyone else at risk from me.’
It was heard she twice had sex in a hotel with a man she met on an app after leaving prison.
Connelly later went to a ‘sex club’ where there was an ‘opportunity’ for BDSM.
Talking about her sex life, Connelly declared she was bisexual and considered herself ‘quite domineering’.
Connelly also admitted she continued to pose a risk to children, telling the panel she can’t see a situation where she will ever be allowed contact with children.
When asked if she posed a risk to children, Connelly said: ‘Yes. Given how bad I was at it.’
But she added: ‘Am I risk to children (playing) down the street? No, not at all.’
Concluding her evidence, she said: ‘I have no magic words, I just know I will try my hardest.’
This afternoon it also emerged the twisted mother was recalled to prison over the development of an intimate relationship with a man she met online which she did not tell professionals supervising her about.
Experts said she kept the relationship secret because Connelly wanted to ‘feel nice and feel good about herself and didn’t want to lose that’.
It was said Connelly knew she had crossed a line that would lead to her being recalled to prison but decided she ‘may as well enjoy it while it lasts’.
The hearing was told Connelly’s feelings of ‘trauma, worthlessness and feeling unloved’ may make her more likely to keep relationships secret.
‘The circumstances closely mirrored those of her first recall and events during her time in custody following that recall as well as exhibiting offence-paralleling behaviour,’ the hearing’s chairman said.
The hearing was told by her prison offender manager (POM) that Connelly had deleted material from her phone to avoid officials finding out about her relationship, which led to her second recall.
Connelly told the hearing she was using a different name when she met her boyfriend online and hid her background.
She wept: ‘I lied. It’s not a good excuse.
‘There was a fear of judgement, a fear of being recalled and fear of rejection – anyone in their right mind would run a mile.
‘How would any normal person ever look at me again? I have got to live with it and I hate myself. How could I ask anyone to be ok with that?’
Connelly added: ‘I am horrible to myself in my own head.
‘I did not tell them (probation). I actively deleted information, therefore this is all my own fault.’
Connelly told the hearing she was obsessed with sex: ‘I need to find a connection even if it is only temporary.’
Sobbing, she told the panel: ‘I don’t want to be anyone’s victim ever again in my life.’
Connelly said the relationship only lasted about a month, adding: ‘It was safety because he didn’t know who I was, I came with no baggage, so I could just be me without the history, without the past.
‘The fact that I was never going to meet him and he lived in another country made it easier.’
Barker’s brother, Jason Owen, (pictured) received a six-year jail sentence for allowing the toddler to die
The panel chairman also said Connelly is ‘perfectly entitled’ to get involved in any kind of relationship she wants as long as she tells people about it, and asked what is stopping her from disclosing them.
The POM said: ‘We all understand what she got from… that relationship is making her feel good about herself.
‘If she then disclosed at that point either probation will say you can’t have the relationship… or we need to disclose to him, which leads to a fear of ‘once he knows who I am he won’t want me’.’
Connelly said: ‘I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I lied, and if I had trusted the professionals enough I wouldn’t be in this situation now.
‘At the time my head was like “what if I have to tell him who I am? How can any normal person look at me ever again?”
‘I have to live with it, I hate my past, how can I ask someone else to be OK with that?’
Connelly has always refused to speak about Baby P’s horrific injuries and letting him die in her care at home in Tottenham, north London in August 2007.
Today’s hearing saw her recommended for release by her POM.
The manager said Connelly ‘took full responsibility’ for her past behaviour inside and out of prison, but said they had not discussed whether she feels remorse for her son’s death.
When asked if Connelly believes she would be a future risk to a child, the manager said the inmate is ‘very aware’ of risk assessments and has never sought to minimise that in discussions.
Ms Allbeury asked if Connelly would pose a risk to the public, to which the POM said: ‘If she engages in a relationship which she does not disclose, if there are children or someone vulnerable involved in that scenario and if she prioritises her own needs.’
Peter Connelly, known publicly as Baby P, suffered the more than 50 injuries despite being on the at-risk register and receiving 60 visits from social workers, police officers and health professionals over eight months.
This marks the first review since Connelly was recalled to prison for a second time in August last year for breaching her licence conditions. Her recall was exclusively revealed by the Daily Mail.
Following normal parole rules, she was referred to the Parole Board within 28-days so it could decide whether she was properly recalled to prison.
They have the power to order her re-release straight away or reject the appeal – which could keep her behind bars for up to two more years.
As Connelly is serving an indefinite sentence, it will be a matter for the Board to decide if she is ever released again. In total, this is her fifth parole hearing.
Previous Parole Board reports heard the manipulative mother was too pre-occupied with sex to think about her son.
Over the next two days, Connelly will argue she is suitable for conditional release.
Connelly sought, alongside her lover Steven Barker (pictured) and his brother Jason Owen, to cover up the injuries inflicted on the youngster – missed by social service and health workers
Today’s hearing was told Connelly has worked as an orderly in prison on a separation unit in recent years.
A prison offender manager said Connelly had ‘formed friendships with a small group’ of prisoners, but none of them were sexual.
The manager said she had a ‘fear of being judged’.
The hearing also heard Connelly has been subjected to constant abuse and threats from other prisoners behind bars.
The prisoner was said to suffer from ‘fleeting’ thoughts of suicide and has some ‘interpersonal problems’.
Ms Allbeury said Connelly has been diagnosed with ‘various personality disorders’, adding she ‘has had a lot of therapy but she keeps on making the same mistakes’.
Parole hearings are usually held in private, but a judge approved applications for Connelly’s review to be heard in public, concluding ‘there can be no doubt that there is a substantial public interest’ in the case.
Connelly was expected to claim a decision to recall her to prison was an overreaction and that the breaches of licence conditions were minimal.
The twisted mother was first recalled to prison in 2015 after selling nude photos online – and then recalled to prison just over two years after last being released.
Connelly has told the panel she does not wish to be released without any conditions.
The Justice Secretary opposes her release, saying she is not suitable to be freed.
Panel members for Connelly’s review will assess her risk in whether to release her from prison or recommend a transfer to open prison conditions.
Baby P’s brutal killing in 2007 shocked the nation after it emerged there were 60 missed opportunities to save him.
Connelly was sentenced to an indefinite sentence after covering up the injuries inflicted upon her son. She pleaded guilty to causing or allowing the death of a child in 2008.
Connelly’s lover Steven Barker was jailed in 2009 for a minimum of 12 years for torturing Peter to death, while his brother, Jason Owen, received a six year jail sentence for allowing the toddler to die.
Barker remains in prison. Owen was released in 2011 but returned to prison in 2013 and has subsequently been re-released.
